Yeah, I am that one girl. You know, the one with a million great ideas all jumbled together like string all tangled into a ball. I couldn't even begin to start unraveling it, but I am sure that I would gladly tangle a few more into it. I know that lately it has gotten worse. Along with the usual and typical musings of my dreaming mind I am faced with some of those ugly things you people out there like to call "Responsibilities" or my favorite "Stressors". To be a bit more specific, at this time last year I was attempting to think of the best way to save my house from foreclosure... Since then I have proceeded to lose the house, along with two kitty cats, two goldfish (one of whom was fed salmon in a cannibalistic manner by a mystery person ranging in age from 8 to 10 years old, the other jumped out of the tank in a suicidal fit), my job, my boyfriend a couple of times (the same one), and in a final blow... My car succumbed to a one ton tree limb tearing through the top of it. I did manage to lose a few things that I was happy to be rid of, such as my pride, and my ego...but my privacy is something that I miss now being a 28 year old resident of my parent's home. And along with all of this I gained something wonderful and priceless. I gained divine humility. Now, that is a term that I made up so bear with me, I will explain. I am sitting here in the new year with a sense of self and of my own spirit that I never would have had without breaking my way to it. I was forced to reassess my life. To look at myself through the eyes of truth, which can be brutal. I realized that I really do have all of the important stuff still. My daughter, my family and my faith. I even got my boyfriend back (for now). So...Now what do you do? Now that you thought your endings were just, in fact, beginnings? Someone once told me that I needed to find my story...well, I hope to dedicate this next year to just that. I know that I am a couple of days late...and I am sure that I will neglect a few days, but I promise to do my best to untangle one string every day...then knit something with it. I hope that you will all share this with me!
Sunday, January 3, 2010
A blog with no real direction, and no real start or finish line? Is this a metaphor for my life?
Yeah, I am that one girl. You know, the one with a million great ideas all jumbled together like string all tangled into a ball. I couldn't even begin to start unraveling it, but I am sure that I would gladly tangle a few more into it. I know that lately it has gotten worse. Along with the usual and typical musings of my dreaming mind I am faced with some of those ugly things you people out there like to call "Responsibilities" or my favorite "Stressors". To be a bit more specific, at this time last year I was attempting to think of the best way to save my house from foreclosure... Since then I have proceeded to lose the house, along with two kitty cats, two goldfish (one of whom was fed salmon in a cannibalistic manner by a mystery person ranging in age from 8 to 10 years old, the other jumped out of the tank in a suicidal fit), my job, my boyfriend a couple of times (the same one), and in a final blow... My car succumbed to a one ton tree limb tearing through the top of it. I did manage to lose a few things that I was happy to be rid of, such as my pride, and my ego...but my privacy is something that I miss now being a 28 year old resident of my parent's home. And along with all of this I gained something wonderful and priceless. I gained divine humility. Now, that is a term that I made up so bear with me, I will explain. I am sitting here in the new year with a sense of self and of my own spirit that I never would have had without breaking my way to it. I was forced to reassess my life. To look at myself through the eyes of truth, which can be brutal. I realized that I really do have all of the important stuff still. My daughter, my family and my faith. I even got my boyfriend back (for now). So...Now what do you do? Now that you thought your endings were just, in fact, beginnings? Someone once told me that I needed to find my story...well, I hope to dedicate this next year to just that. I know that I am a couple of days late...and I am sure that I will neglect a few days, but I promise to do my best to untangle one string every day...then knit something with it. I hope that you will all share this with me!
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Hang in there and write about whatever you want...we'll enjoy!
ReplyDeleteThis is a really great post. I completely relate with the first few sentences. There's so much in my mind to do that I end up doing nothing. It might be laziness, on my part. It seems like you had a tough year, but it sounds like you're looking at it in an honest and positive manner, which is hard to do.
ReplyDeletewow! i am only just reading all of these comments and it is really making me feel like a procrastinator major!!!! ouch!
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